I can't win.

I just can't seem to get ahead. I can't win. I'm just so confused with life. I hate how I feel. I hate trying to express feelings to people and it just backfires and turns into this huge fight. It's so freakin stupid and I HATE it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so tired of clique-ish family members. Families shouldn't be that way. I'm so sick of being compared to other people. Or feeling like I'm not as good as other people in my family. But maybe I'm the one with the issues? Maybe I'm the one who really needs therapy. It's probably my own fault that I don't have any friends. If you were to ask the cousin I'm arguing with right now, she'd definitely tell you it's my fault I don't have any friends since all I do is "give guilt trips." I just give up. I hate trying to please everyone. I just need to get away. I never had this problem in Indiana. I felt so accepted and loved. I was never compared to someone else or made to feel like crap. I never felt like I should be someone better. I was loved for who I am. On my side of the family, some people only talk to me to let me know I should try out for the Biggest Loser...thanks for letting me know you're thinking of me when you're watching obese people on national television. You'll never know how many nights I've cried over it. But o that's giving a guilt trip isn't it?? Guess I better just shut my mouth and keep pressin forward....

Wish I could swear like a sailor right now...