Alone...

I wish I had a younger sibling at home. I wouldn't be lonely. I wouldn't have to watch stupid shows by myself. Yeah they're stupid, but fun to watch! Gabe's not texting me for some reason. He probably fell asleep. I might as well go to bed soon. Nothing else to do. Plus I still feel pissed about him talking to his ex. He's still kinda buddy buddy with her. Which I HATE! He wouldn't like it if I were all buddy buddy with my ex. It's just annoying, but I know I need to approach him about it otherwise he'll never know it irritates me. O well. Same crap, different day. Blah. I hate being in a bad mood! I know it's my own fault, but I just can't seem to shake it!

Blah...

Home...

Home from Indiana. I miss it so much. I just feel like I don't even belong in Vegas anymore. It's just an ugly place. I miss Indiana so much, it's sickening. I miss the green. I miss all the LIVING plants and grass and trees. I miss the clean air. I miss the rain. I miss the beautiful sunsets. Most importantly, I miss Gabe. I miss him more than anything. I feel like my other half is missing. I didn't know what to do with myself after he left. I'm no longer used to being by myself. I'm really going to miss his hugs and kisses...and his adorable sweet face. Especially when I would just look over at him and he'd smile and wink at me. It's the simple things that melt my heart. I love him so very much....

In the Words of Satan - The Arrows

This is a really powerful video. It might be kind of intense for some of you, but it has an incredibly powerful message. Just focus on the words...

Bittersweet...mostly bitter...

I'm going home June 30th. I really don't want to...Yes I miss my family and the few friends I have there but I'm so happy here. I've lost weight because I'm not as stressed. I'm happy here! I have people to hang out with and talk to. I'm NEVER alone. Unlike life back home. I get so lonely back there. I love it here so much. I never thought I'd say this but I'm getting used to the humidity. I don't mind it as much. I still sweat like a beast but I've come to the conclusion that that's just me. It runs in my blood. I love Gabe's family. They make me feel like I'm apart of the family. As if I've been around the whole time. I love his nieces and nephew. They are so sweet and cute. It's going to be so hard to say goodbye to everyone. I'm not looking forward to it at all. I'm going to miss all the green...all the rain/thunder/lightning storms. They are AMAZING here. I won't miss the tornado warnings...HA! But everything else...O I won't miss the ticks and spiders either...but everything else, I definitely will miss. Well I better get back to the boy. Gotta spend as much time with him as I can. I love him a ton!

Horrible!....

I am HORRIBLE at blogging lately. I've been in Indiana since April 28th so I've been pretty occupied since then. Things are going great here. I love it here. It's so green and beautiful and I LOVE Gabe's family. I feel so close to them like I've known them my whole life. They are really a great group of people. I'm sad I'll be leaving them soon but hopefully not permanently. Anyways that's all for now. Gabe should be home from work soon...I hope. I love that guy....

Sincerely, Amber

Jeffrey R Holland...

Such an amazing man. He came to our stake conference yesterday. Besides the prophet...he's definitely my favorite. He is such an amazing speaker. So powerful. He gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes multiple times. I wish every single member of this church could've been there. He gave our stake a personal blessing. It was an amazing thing to witness. I know I keep saying amazing a lot but that's the only way I know how to describe my feelings. I was in awe. Something that really hit me is when he said "I did NOT dedicate my life to a fairy tale." That hit me like you can't believe. Why would he, or any other apostle or prophet or any member of this church, dedicate their entire lives to a church that was not true? They wouldn't. I know for a fact this is the only true church on earth. I am so grateful and so incredibly blessed to have been born and raised in it. It terrifies me to think where I might be today had I not been born a member. I might not even be alive. This gospel has saved my life. It has brought so many wonderful people into my life. So many people who have impacted my life. It's because of them that I'm still around today. I wish I could go back in time to yesterday just to hear him speak all over again. Such an incredible man who loves truly loves this gospel and every member in it. I really wish Gabe could've been there. He deserves to have an experience like that. I know I will never forget that day...February 7, 2010. I know, without a doubt in my heart and mind, that this is the true church. Knowing that brings me such peace. But, I must be going to bed now. So goodbye for now...

Ugh

This week's been crap. Gabe's gone, my mom's been acting weird, so has my dad, my mom is back to telling me how overweight and out of shape I am. I can't stand it. I never feel good enough. My dad says I manage myself like a 5 yr old. So now I'm going to spend the rest of the night looking at different lap band sites.

Goodnight!